Knerdy Knitting
where spelling isn't as important as awesome

Stick right needle through loop.

Wrap yarn around needle.

Pull yarn through.

Straighten everything out.

Lie down and rest before next stitch.

As will become clear as this blog progresses, I have a wonky brain.  Different doctors say it has different afflictions, but basically nobody has a good name for it or knows what to do about it.  My symptoms got unmanageable when I was around twenty and for the last eight years I’ve been figuring out what that means about the rest of my life.  Working full time is out.  Getting the advanced degrees I’ve dreamed about is out.   During bad times, participating in the consensus reality is out.  But (so far) knitting is never out.

It can take a lot of effort.  Knitting a few rows can leave me so exausted that I can’t stand long enough to shower.  And it isn’t always fun.  More than once knitting has been the focus of an irrational breakdown.  But I keep coming back to it and I keep working with it.  Because just like the meds and the light box and the exercise and the therapy, I think the knitting helps.

It’s something simple to fill the time when I can only do simple things.  The pull of the yarn between my right hand fingers is grounding.  I might be feeling all sorts of strange sensations that result from a misprocessing brain,  but this gentle tug is real.  I can see the yarn, I can see my fingers, and when the yarn pulls I feel it move.  Knitting is repetitive, using mostly muscle memory to make the stitches, which keeps my “lizard brain” distracted for a while and gives my “human brain” time to rest.  And when it’s all done, I have something to show for my effort.  Yoga might get me flexible legs, but knitting gets me killer socks.

This one’s for all those Dr Horrible fans out there.  Remember the scene in the beginning of Act II where Penny is eating frozen yogurt with Captain Hammer in the park?  Remember swooning over her wristers?  Ok, maybe I am the only one who answers yes to that second one.  But with a little work I now have wrister just like hers!  Except I put some pretty leaf buttons on the hands, because I could not resist the power of pretty leaf buttons.

(Errata is in red.)

And now, thanks to the lovely and generous Wierdlings, it comes in PDF format! (The PDF has been changed to reflect the errata.)

Here’s an outline of what I did.  I’m new to writing patterns, so I hope it makes sense.

Dr Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Wristers

Materials:

Two balls of Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Aran, one in dark green (A) and one in beige (B)
(You will use about 90% of ball A and about 55% of ball B.)

Size US6 straight needles

Size US6 dpns for the thumb hole

Twelve buttons that fit the buttonholes you’ve made
(I used six 3/4″ leaf button and six 3/4″ green buttons.)

Gauge: 5 stitches per inch, 7 rows per inch

Directions:
Cast on 38 stitches in color A.

Work 2×2 rib in color A for 6 rows.

Work in st st (4 rows in B, 4 rows in A) five times. Carry the color you aren’t working with up the right hand side of the work. Work 4 rows in B one more time.

Make thumb hole (left glove):
Work 20 stitches in A, work 6 stitches with cotton waste yarn, slip 6 cotton stitches back to left needle and work them again in A, work remaining twelve stitches.

Make thumb hole (right glove):
Work twelve stitches in A, work 6 stitches with cotton waste yarn, slip 6 cotton stitches back to left needle and work them again in A, work remaining twenty stitches.

Hand (both gloves):
Work three more rows in A, four rows in B.

Work one row of st st in A, and then five rows of 2×2 rib in A. Bind off using Stretchy Cast-off for 2×2 Rib. (See pattern notes at end.)

Thumb:
Carefully undo cotton stitches, putting bottom six stitches on one needle and top seven stitches on another.

Work across bottom six stitches with B, pick up two stitches in the gap, work across top seven stitches, pick up two in gap. Cast off all thumb stitches.

Button Band:
With A, pick up and knit 45 stitches along side of work farthest from thumb hole (about five for every seven.) (I did this by picking up three, skipping one, picking up two, and skipping one. If you end up with more than 45 stitches, don’t do it over. Just decrease (or increase) to 45 stitches in the next row.) Work two rows in st st, beginning with a wrong side row.

K3, (make a single row button hole, k3) to end (See pattern notes at end.)
Knit two more rows in st st, bind off all stitches.

Weave in all ends and block as desired. Wear while eating frozen yogurt.
Notes:

Single Row Button Hole in Four Easy Steps (I don’t remember where I learned this, but I didn’t come up with it.)

1) Move the working yarn to the other side of the work, slip the next stitch, and move the working yarn back to the original side of work.

2) Slip next stitch from left needle to right needle, pass second stitch on right needle over slipped stitch.  You have bound off one button hole stitch.  Repeat two more times.  Three button hole stitches bound off.  Slip stitch from right needle to left needle.

3) Turn work.  Bring working yarn to back of work.  Using cable cast on, cast on four stitches.  Turn work.

4) Slip stitch from left needle to right needle, pass second stitch on right needle over the slipped stitch.

Stretchy Cast-Off for 2×2 Rib (This one I did come up with)

1)   Transfer the stitches to be cast off to a dpn.  While transferring, rearrange the stitches so that the first stitch is a knit stitch, the second stitch is a twisted knit stitch (the lefthand “leg” of the stitch is in front of the needle), the third stitch is a purl stitch, and the fourth stitch is a twisted purl stitch.

2)  Using a tapestry needle, sew through the first stitch on the needle from left to right.  Sew through the second and first second stitches from left to right.  Drop first stitch on needle.  Turn work.

3) Sew through the second and first stitches on the needle from right to left.  Sew through the third and second stitches on needle from right to left.  Drop first two stitches on needle.  Turn work.

4) Be sure that the yarn is up over the knitting needle and behind the work as you sew. Sew through the second and first stitches on the needle from left to right.  Sew through the third and second stitches on needle from left to right.  Drop first two stitches on needle.  Turn work.

Repeat steps 3 and 4 until all stitches have been bound off.

I am back from the wonderful trip of excitement! And what’s more, I am over jet lag enough to put two sentences together. There were so many cool things that we saw and did, but as this is a knitting blog I’m going to limit myself to the fiber related stuff.

I landed first in Barcelona, to spend a couple days in Spain while Pirate Boyfriend’s work wrapped up.  1in; margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } –>Barcelona made its money in the middle ages through the wool trade.  Near the center of town is an area of tiny winding roads known as the medieval textile district.  What better place for a yarn shop?  So right in the middle of it is Persones Llanas, a tiny LYS tucked away in one of the old buildings.I believe the store is run by an American (at least she has an American accent.)  Mostly they carry the serviceable stuff you’ve seen elsewhere, but they also have some lovely Spainish wool that I’ve never seen before.  And they had a wall of little balls of roving.  So I got about four ounces in blues and greens.  My goal was to make a “Picasso’s blue period” inspired hat (after the wonderful Picasso museum in Barcelona), but I can’t seem to find the roving even after I’ve unpacked all my bags.  Poo.

Most of our trip was in London.  Not only did I pose with my sock in front of big ben (see above), but I also went to I Knit (an LYS) and a Stitch n Bitch.  I don’t have pictures of either one.  The Stitch n Bitch was awesome, just to have a chance to talk to people in a context other than confused tourist seeking help.   It was held in the Maple Leaf, a Canadian themed pub.  Everyone was really friendly, and if was great to hang out with knitters of all abilities and ages while drinking.  I got tipsy on Strongbow and purchased a tiny SnB London pin.  It is one of my most prized possessions from our trip.

I Knit is a fabulous LYS near the Waterloo tube station.  When I went there was another SnB going on, and the place was crowded past capacity with knitters.  Since it was a damp night, it made the room downright steamy.  Or maybe that was just me, getting all hot and bothered by the beautiful yarn.  Because they had some really nice stuff.  Here are some photos:

     

From left to right, that’s a sweater’s worth of Wensleydale Longwool (spun in England) in an olive green, two balls of Kidsilk Haze in a yummy mix of yellows, oranges, and greens, and a pair of socks worth of Indie Dyer sock yarn in the colorway Olive Grove.  I think I made out like a bandit.

So that’s my trip.  Hopefully I’m back to human now and can blog regularly again.  I know I have a lot of stuff to talk about, including the Happiest Socks Ever, Dr Horrible’s Sing a Long Wristers, and an update on the 20’s style purple hat!

So I haven’t written, but I have an excuse. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD I’M GOING TO LONDON IN THREE DAYS! Yes, I knew about this for a while. It only became real to me today. There will be much posting after the trip, most likely involving London yarn stores. Because, did I mention I’m going to London? BECAUSE I AM!

Even though going through mohair by hand is lots of fun (see Goats), I wanted to go faster. So one of my goals at OFFF was to get a pair of hand carders. It turns out they are fairly expensive, but I found one pair that was half the price of the others. They were used, apparently for “Dark Wool” as they have a masking tape label to that affect attached to them, and their former owner is deceased. Her friends were selling some of her things at their booth.

Just as mortality inspires other forms of great art, mortality affects knitting and knitters. No, we do not knit little stuffed Death dolls. (Though that is a good idea.) But a common was to describe a yarn stash is that it exceeds life expectancy — that there is no way the knitter will use all this yarn before her death. And what starts out as a joke can become very real. I have only been a part of the knitting community for a short time, but I have been to two “give aways” following a fiber artist’s death. In both cases I didn’t know the knitter personally and the relatives of the knitter were trying to give things to someone, anyone, that would use them. I knit, and so they gave me yarn. But I also eat, and they didn’t push silverware on me with nearly the same intensity.

Knitting is such a huge part of knitter’s lives. It becomes more than playing with string, more than the pragmatic need to keep our loved ones warm. It is a reflection of ourselves and our lives. When our lives end with projects unfinished it’s like cutting off a song half sung. Even non-knitting relatives recognize this and feel the hunger to see the projects finished. Nature abhors a half-knit sweater.

After I die (…and I will die in the middle of lecture when I’m 96… all my students will get automatic A’s due to the trauma…) I’d like to think that Pirate Boyfriend would bring all my yarn and needles and books to Wednesday night knitting. That people would fight over the hand painted sock yarn and try to figure out from my Ravelry queue what projects I was intending for what yarns. I’d like to live on in the stitches that they make. I would like a Knitting Wake, where my yarn is divided and my patterns scattered to the four corners of the earth and the spirit of my knitting is laid to rest.

Because if you don’t, I am so haunting your asses.

“What kind of spinning wheel do you have & where did you get it? I’m thinking about buying myself a spinning wheel for graduation in a few years, but if I get excited enough I might have to make it a late going-back-to-school present for myself. :)” — esperry

Rather than answer in the comments, I’m making this its own post.

My spinning wheel is named Cynthia.  Say hello, Cynthia!

She is a Secret Ashford Traditional.  This means that she looks exactly like an Ashford Traditional, but has no identifying marks to prove it.  I suspect a former life of crime.  She’s single treadle, single drive, and when I got her she came with seven bobbins.  She’s exactly what I wanted in a starter wheel — easy to spin with, easy to fix, and quite cheap.

I had been checking Craig’s List for about a month looking for a wheel when I heard about Cynthia.  I even went to a couple people’s homes and looked at their wheels.  One was so rickety that I was afraid I would break it.  Another didn’t even have a footman — and they offered to throw in the pole that turned it into a lamp for free.  Craig’s List is a great way to know what kinds of prices are reasonable for used wheels, and a used wheel the way to go for a first wheel.  New wheels are hella expensive, and who wants to spend that kind of money before you know what you really like in a wheel?  It’s like buying a grand piano before you even take lessons.

I heard about Cynthia from Vicki at my LYS, Fiber Nooks and Crannys.  I was griping to the owner about how none of the wheels I had been looking at have panned out, and Vicki mentioned that she was thinking of selling her starter wheel.  She was selling it in my price range, and I practically gave her a check right then and there.  But I am nothing if not restrained, so we arranged a time for me to come in and see it.  I mean, see her.

Because Cynthia isn’t just an “it,” she is a lady.  A cankerous old broad who isn’t afraid to jab you with her cane.  So I must give her the proper respect.  And when I do, she spins beautiful, beautiful yarn.  Which is exactly what I want in a spinning wheel.

Sunday morning at OFFF, I discovered in short order that (1) my class was actually in the morning, (2) my instructor was running late, and (3) my class was going to be moved to the afternoon. This left me and Cynthia with no knitting, no fiber, and no car keys to obtain either one. Clearly I was fated to make one last purchase.

I chose some yummy superwash merino dyed up beautifully by Maisy Day. So what if there was less then 2 ounces? It called to me. So I hung out with the PDX Knitbloggers and began to spin. This was when I only knew one method, so I used the largest ratio, short draw. As usual, it came out slightly underspun and very sproingy. (Yes, that is a word.) Spinning all morning I finished the entire two ounces and got about 60 yards after it was plied.

So it’s beautiful, sure, but what can you do with 60 yards? Not much. Even little projects seemed to require more yarn. What I really wanted was a pair of mitts, but no go. So clearly I had to make up my own pattern.

I started with Fetching, the extremely popular Knitty pattern. Even these little mitts called for too much yarn. So I went up two needle sizes, cut out one of the cable twists at the wrist, and made the hands slightly shorter. It worked wonderfully, and I even had ten yards of yarn left. I used this to pick up around the wrists and knit another two rows; without these rows the mitts were pretty but not long enough to be useful. Now they are both! Knitting them up took about a day.

Being so small and slight (both in size and in woman hours of work), I call them Slightly Fetching. And I’ve been wearing them nearly constantly ever since.

Except it doesn’t eat people, it’s just purple. I got about 10 ounces of beautiful, beautiful Lorna’s Laces top wool in the colorway Black Pearl. Did I mention it’s beautiful? It’s squishy, with lots of shades of purple, a little blue, and a little brown. So of course as soon as I thought I was a decent spinner (that is, after a month of spinning) I started with this. I spun it that only way I knew how; short draw at the ratio the wheel was at when I got it. This made a nice, soft, fluffy yarn, slightly underspun. It’ll be great for this pattern here (a warm cabled hat), but not this pattern (a streamlined 20’s style hat.) This would be fine, except I was trying to make the second one.

At the spinning class I took at OFFF, however, they taught me crazy new techniques. Like how to use the ratios on my wheel. Basically, this means that I can treadle the same speed and get more twist. A lot more twist. So I went home and tried it out. Same wool, same wheel, same draw. But this time I used a different ratio. And I got much finer, tighter, more even yarn. It’s like magic! Except it’s actually using tools correctly. See if you can tell the difference….

Ok, so maybe the pictures don’t show it well. But believe me, the one on the right is much twistier.

The Oregon Flock and Fiber Festival was a blast!  It was also three weeks ago. But there was so much to say about it that I hardly knew where to begin. When this is the case, I usually say nothing at all. To guide me, I’m going to make this a photo essay, just talking about some of the pictures I took on Sunday. This has the advantage of allowing me to actually, you know, write about OFFF. It has the disadvantage of ignoring Saturday, as I forgot my camera that day. Also, the beautiful loot acquired at OFFF will be discussed in a forthcoming post. On to OFFF!

We arrived early in the morning. Ok, so it wasn’t early when we got there. But Canby is an hour and a half away, so we had to leave Corvallis at 7:30. Which is early. This way WildThingsRun could make it to her all day class on natural dyeing.

There was some mix up about when my class was to start. We assembled, but through a mix-up the instructor wasn’t there. This is us all waiting in a circle with our spinning wheels. The instructor, Laura Cunningham, offered the class in the afternoon to compensate. It was increadible! I learned how to spin with a long draw, and from the fold, and how to use the different ratios of my wheel to make really fine worsted yarn. Before I could only make loosely spun aran weight doubles. Now the possibilities are endless! And I know how to adjust my spinning to the kind of fiber and to the kind of fabric I want to create. It’s awesome.

You know what else is awesome? The PDX Knit Bloggers! They had chairs and a canopy, and were very warm and welcoming. While waiting for my class they let me leave things there (like Cynthia the Spinning Wheel), and I even got to spin some with them. I’ve joined their yahoo group, which is also awesome.

No fiber festival would be complete without fiber animals. There were all kinds of sheep, all kinds of goats, rabbits, and alpaca. They were all beautiful and soft and fluffy. And you could buy their fleece, if you so chose. I did not so choose, through enormous strength of will.

All in all, it was a wonderful time. I got to sit in the sun and in the grass, spinning and carding and knitting. They even had a stage where people sang folk songs about fiber. How happy does that make me? Answer: pretty dang happy.

When I saw this pattern, I instantly thought of my Dad. He’s way into yoga. Particularly, the kind of hot yoga promoted by Bikram. I call it his Nazi Yoga. It’s the same thing every day. It’s in a really hot room. One day he even collapsed during the session.

And it’s a vital part of him keeping happy and healthy.

So I picked out a mercerized cotton yarn called Plymouth Yarn Fantasy Naturale Solid. It’s in a really nice blue — his favorite color — and is machine washable. And I began to knit. And knit. And knit. It’s a bag. I thought it would take a couple weeks or so. A month at most. But it’s been a month and I’m only two thirds of the way done with it. I blame the cables.

I have a little practice with cables, but after this project I’ll have a lot. It’s a three by three cable twist, first to the front and then to the back. And it takes for-freaking-ever. If I had known, if I had the experience to know, I would not have started this project. But now I’m two thirds of the way done and Dad knows I’m making him a yoga bag for his birthday. Which was two weeks ago.

It’s always a little sad when something I do for fun becomes something I have to do. Knitting should not be work. But then again, knitting shouldn’t be 27 inches of cables. So there you go.