Knerdy Knitting
where spelling isn't as important as awesome

An Essay in Three Parts

Part the First:  Nerd

Like most slang, the word “nerd” has no firm definition. It means different things depending on the location and age of the speaker. So perhaps the definition I will give here is more of an explanation, and it is important to know that it is coming from a twenty something living on the west coast of the United States.

“Nerd” has two sister words, “geek” and “dork.” Together they describe a certain subset of the population that doesn’t fit with mainstream expectations. “Dorks” are the most socially awkward of the the three. They are inadvertently rude, or speak in non sequiturs, or give too much personal information. They are clumsy and drop things. They dance in particularly unappealing ways. They may not have adequate personal hygiene. Dork is the most insulting of the three, and is rarely used positively.

Geek is the least insulting the three. It has widely been reclaimed as a mark of pride in one’s intense specific knowledge. Traditional geeks are knowledgeable in the hard sciences and mathematics or literature based on the hard sciences and mathematics. But the term can describe those passionately interested in any subject, including the soft sciences, music, film, and food. Geeks may have been ostracized as children for their interests and consequently poorly socialized. This is not an requirement, however. Geeks band together as adults, rejoicing in shared information about their favorite topic.

What, then, is a nerd? Nerds are so detail oriented that they have trouble functioning socially. They like facts, numbers, and statistics. This allows them to do very well in traditional academic systems, which in turn may lead to negative social interactions as a youngster. They are the most naturally logical of the three, but because they don’t see the bigger picture logic is not always to their advantage. Nerds do not understand insinuation, often have trouble with irony, and don’t take hints. “Nerd” is an insult, but can also be used as a friendly reminder to not be so myopic.

We now have half our definition.  Knerdy knitting is awkward, goofy,  intense, out of context, or just plain strange to the other kids.

Me:  Hi Dad, how’s it going?

Dad:  Oh, fine.  Anything new and exciting with you?

Me:  Mostly I’ve been working on a baby sweater.

Dad:  For you?

Me:  No, for a baby.

Dad: I mean, for your baby.

Me: *flashes of horror at the thought of being pregnant* NO!  It’s for a friend’s baby!

In Dad’s defense, this was shortly after I gained twenty pounds, left grad school, and started knitting like a fiend.  So in his world view, I am clearly going to have a baby.

Sometimes I forget that knitting has cultural connotations.  And that others, even those closest to me, will make incorrect assumptions about who I am because of my knitting.  Knitting is old fashioned, and so they may assume I am traditional in other ways.  Knitting is a time consuming and costly way to obtain clothing, and so they may assume that I am rich and have a great deal of leisure time.  Knitting is the work of grandmothers, and so they may assume that I’m a nurturing, mothering, femme woman.

But knitting is just a tool, a technique.  It’s pulling loops of string through other loops of string using two sticks.  All these values come from the observers, not from the knitting itself.  Knitting can be anything.  It can be a statement against mass produced, mass marketed clothing.  It can be a medium for showing love and protective feelings.  It can be a way to kill time.   These are the meanings I find in my knitting.  Luckily for me, knitting is a creative processes that produces socks, not infants.

It’s knerdy, it’s knitting!

I may be the last one on the interweb to learn about this, but it has completely eaten my brain. The site ChoreWars is designed to motivate children with their household chores. It works like an RPG for your housework. If you empty the dishwasher, for example, your character gains xp and gold and has a chance of fighting a monster and finding special treasures. You get to enter in you individualized chores and the rewards for completing them. Innocent and dorky, yes?

It was until the knitters got a hold of it. Specifically, the ones over at LimenViolet. Now you get xp for winding a skein! Dyeing for 30 minutes! Learning a new technique! I’m totally into it. And my lady YarnViking has been eating up the levels. Now I no longer have to choose between computer games and fiber arts! This is the coolest advance in computer gaming technology since I discovered I can knit IRL while tanning hides in LOTRO. (Crafting while you’re crafting totally rocks.)

Stick right needle through loop.

Wrap yarn around needle.

Pull yarn through.

Straighten everything out.

Lie down and rest before next stitch.

As will become clear as this blog progresses, I have a wonky brain.  Different doctors say it has different afflictions, but basically nobody has a good name for it or knows what to do about it.  My symptoms got unmanageable when I was around twenty and for the last eight years I’ve been figuring out what that means about the rest of my life.  Working full time is out.  Getting the advanced degrees I’ve dreamed about is out.   During bad times, participating in the consensus reality is out.  But (so far) knitting is never out.

It can take a lot of effort.  Knitting a few rows can leave me so exausted that I can’t stand long enough to shower.  And it isn’t always fun.  More than once knitting has been the focus of an irrational breakdown.  But I keep coming back to it and I keep working with it.  Because just like the meds and the light box and the exercise and the therapy, I think the knitting helps.

It’s something simple to fill the time when I can only do simple things.  The pull of the yarn between my right hand fingers is grounding.  I might be feeling all sorts of strange sensations that result from a misprocessing brain,  but this gentle tug is real.  I can see the yarn, I can see my fingers, and when the yarn pulls I feel it move.  Knitting is repetitive, using mostly muscle memory to make the stitches, which keeps my “lizard brain” distracted for a while and gives my “human brain” time to rest.  And when it’s all done, I have something to show for my effort.  Yoga might get me flexible legs, but knitting gets me killer socks.

So, I have had a livejournal for many moons.  I never use it, as nothing interesting happens to me.  At least, it doesn’t seem interesting until someone mentions I should blog it.  When I hear this, I immediately agree and resolve to blog it and many other interesting stories very soon.  Very soon never happens.  Maybe this is because I am forgetful.  Maybe it is because I suspect these events aren’t interesting after all.  Maybe this is because I am scared of writing in general, and the Blank Page in particular.  Whatever it is, the livejournal is not used.

But this blog will be used!  This is not because knitting is more interesting than other parts of my life.  In fact, I suspect that the college friends that read my livejournal would be more interested in my real life than my knitting life.  This blog will be used because I don’t care if anyone reads it.  I just like blathering on about yarn, and this will provide a place where I won’t drive people crazy with it.